Hey everyone. This is gonna be a short, complain post about the recent events of #SurvivorAU Episode 14 and peoples reactions.
First of all, Phoebe is probably one of the greatest players to EVER play the game, yet she doesn’t even make Merge or Jury. It’s a tragedy, yes but it doesn’t mean the season is over.
I go onto to twitter, search “#SurvivorAU”, and what do I see?
“I’M DONE WATCHING THIS SHOW IS A PIECE OF SHIT BLAH BLAH BLAH”
THIS is the shit we deal with CONSTANTLY for the shit hole that is #BB18, yet people keep coming back to it. ONE PLAYER gets voted off, and you’re not going to watch?
“Oh well Survivor US is about to come on, good point to drop off…”
NO. This season has been great. Sure, many twists muddle the gameplay, but there is still HALF of the fucking game to play, and they ARE ABOUT TO MERGE. You’re gonna throw a hissy fit just because your fav was voted off?
I know many will say “WELL YOU DO TOO YOU BITCH”; Well not really. I drop out because of the season being bad, not just because one person left. I think that is very irrational judgement to just drop out just because someone gets voted out.
Hey everyone! I’ve been a fan of Big Brother since Season 6, and I have to admit the quality has dipped quite a bit over the years. With the end of #BB18 and #BBOTT on the horizon, I thought it would be interesting to see how I thought each season stacked up against eachother; so rankings gallore, bitchez.
I am going to rank the 13 seasons I have seen and analyzed (I HAVE watched seasons 2-5, but i am not going to rank them as I don’t have THAT much personal insight on them) SO HERE WE GO!!!
NUMBER 13: #BB16
Anyone who knows me, can probably tell that I HATE this season with a burning passion. The cast was stupid AF, with the exception of Derrick (Who these days I don’t think is very credible anymore), and Nicole (Well… I hate her now, thanks to #BB18)
This season had close to zero blindsides. The females were weak as hell, and everyone literally played for Derrick to win. People say Derrick was a great winner, but it’s hard not to win WHEN THE OTHER 15 ARE PLAYING FOR YOU.
The fact that Victoria is potentially now my favorite from this season is a very, very bad sign.
This season was no fun to watch, and the presence of Frankie Grande just tainted it even more. THE WORST PART ABOUT IT, is that CBS LOVEEEES This season…
Well news flash CBS: IT SUCKS.
NUMBER 12: #BB9
The ONLY reason why this is above #BB16 is because I don’t hate it with a burning passion… it just sucks. Sure, I hear the feeds were fantastic (and trashy) but this season was unwatchable. I remember seeing the first few weeks during the #BBMarathon and when Jen was telling everyone her boyfriend was racist? WTF! and the Alison-Sheila lesbian scandal was just stupid.
This cast was extremely unlikable and it was hard to root for anyone. The very small amount of likeable people (Alex, Parker) went out within the first 2 weeks, and then CBS, being their good ‘ol selves, SCREWED OVER THE FANS, by having them vote one person back in “Who was Alex”, but then saying “OH, but the contestants will vote instead”, and they bring back Crazy fucking James instead. What a slap in the face. This is the season that made me question CBS and made me realize just how arrogant and delusional of a company they are. Thanks, BB9.
NUMBER 11: #BB18
By far the most FRUSTRATING season for me, is the current one. BB18. Why was it frustrating? The women had SO MUCH POTENTIAL; and they ruined it. SO MANY GOOD THINGS could’ve happened this season, but we instead got one of the worst possible results. Sure Nicole has game, but I cannot stand the girl. She’s annoying and doesn’t own her game. FRUSTRATING. James is still in and could win after doing NOTHING all summer. FRUSTRATING. CBS giving Paulie sympathetic edit. FRUSTRATING. Zakiyah in general FRUSTRATING. CBS loving them some Nicorey! FRUSTRATING. THE FACT THAT THEY MADE SO MANY USELESS SEGMENTS ON COREY DESPITE BEING BY FAR THE DULLEST CAST MEMBER TO EVER BE ON THE SHOW: SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING; the worst part is, the casuals are eating it all up. This season has made me HATE casual watchers, as they give James, Nicole, and Corey their stupid care packages. Paulie’s existence is disgusting in general. THIS SEASON was a huge let down; all thanks to CBS.
NUMBER 10: #BB12
I know a lot of people love the Brigade; but their steamrolling was boring AF. This season may have given us the legendary Britney Haynes, and the very polarizing Brenchel, but other than that meh. The fact that the saboteur twist failed within the first week was pathetic, and was followed up with some pathetic gameplay by everyone who was not in the brigade.
NUMBER 9: #BB13
There are definitely some signs that #BB18 was rigged, but there is no other season that SCREAMS “rigged” more than #BB13. It was so obvious, even to the casuals. The reason why this season is ranked as high as it is was the very polarizing cast. There were two sides. You were either Team Vets, or Team Dani D, and it was pretty split down the middle. The season was compelling, it kept me watching; and THAT is what makes a good BB season.
NUMBER 8: #BB15
If you can get past the racism, and get past the generally unlikable cast, we have some extraordinary game play this season. The winner Andy, though hated by a lot, played a near-perfect floater game that should make Jun proud. His performance during the second double eviction was LEGENDARY and the fact that he was on all Live Feed cams at once has yet to be repeated (lol). Also, Amanda. A dominant female player, who although may be rude AF at times, is JUST what I want to see in a female player; bold and not afraid to make moves and beat the shit out of people. Those two in particular redeem this season for me, and puts it at the number 8 spot. (I WILL say that Aaryn and GinaMarie were fucking terrible though.)
NUMBER 7: #BB11
This season was fantastic. DRAMA EVERYWHRE. Russell, Chima, the Natalie/Jessie/Lydia triange, Hilarious Kevin, the evil nerd Ronnie, Even Jejo was tolerable this season. This cast was GREAT drama (not so much with gameplay tho). I would put this higher if there were actually some amazing players. Kevin was really good, but not “great”.
Also one think i really blame on this season in particular; type casting. It didn’t start until this season. THIS is the season when Big Brother started going downhill into the frustrating piece of shit it is today. Other than that, fun to watch.
NUMBER 6: #BB7 All-Stars
I know exactly the kind of reaction i’m gonna get here. Half of you are going to agree with me, and half of you are going to go “WTF BB7 SHOULD BE NUMBER 1 THIS LIST IS BULLSHIT”… Well, you can go fuck off then, because everyone can have their opinions and still be “valid”.
The cast, obviously legendary. America voted all of them in, and though not the best gamers, were great personalities. That “not the best gamers” tho… that’s where it falls.
Dr.Will… one of, if not the greatest player of all time DOMINATED this season. The frustrating thing about it is how stupid the other players were. I love Janelle, but she was Dr.Wills puppet in this season. The only person i feel like didn’t make themselves look like a total idiot this season is Dani R (Who did make some mistakes herself).
I don’t like Will’s sidekick Boogie though. I feel like he’s very overrated and that he gets credit for all of the work that Will had done. He for sure was a better winner than Erika though, who was just… dismal.
I didn’t enjoy this season much to be honest. It was Chilltown steamroll. Every week “WE NEED TO TAKE OUT CHILLTOWN” and then they don’t. EVERY DAMN WEEK. That’s why it’s ranked at 6.
NUMBER 5: #BB8
A lot of people hate Big Brother 8, and Evel Dick for that matter. But you CANNOT tell me this season was not entertaining. The Donatos, ERIC FUCKING STEIN, and the epic meltdown of Dustin, Kail (and numerous ones from Amber lmao). I loved the cast this season; they seemed like they were willing to play hard… while also being complete trainwrecks. Lol. Of course i have to knock it down a few pegs because of America’s Player technically rigging it for the Donatos, but it was like the perfect story book ending; and I remember it fondly. PS: BB8 Episode 18 is probably my favorite episode of all time of any Big Brother. Ever.
NUMBER 4: #BB17
Yes. Big Brother 17 is number 4. In a stretch of average to TERRIBLE seasons, this season was a shining gem, and I think it is vastly underappreciated. Austin and the twins were SO FUN to hate on during the course of the season, and the fact that they stuck around UNTIL THE FINAL 6, made for excellent and compelling television. The best part is, it was them against my 3 favorites in the season: Steve, Vanessa, and Johnny Mac. Although Vanessa was a fantastic player and arguably should’ve won this season, I feel like Steve winning was a great way to end this underrated season. If #BBOTT is anywhere near this good, I’ll stick around for #BB19.
NUMBER 3: #BB14
Dan. Frank. Britney. Ian. All of the above. Sure, some of the cast was dull and useless, but the ones who DID STUFF; amazing. Dan was compelling as fuck to watch, and Frank being one of the most difficult people in the history of the game to get out was great. I was team quack pack all the way, and it felt so good to see 4 out of the 5 of them at the very end. Ian beating Dan in the end sucked, but this season was very fun to watch, and i’m sure many can agree with me on that.
NUMBER 2: #BB6
Drama. City. Even on rewatch, this season keeps you glued to the screen. With the polarizing cast, and ALL OF THE FIGHTS, Do I need to say more? This IS the season that got me hooked. Although Maggie is generally unlikeable, her cult-like gameplay was incredible and has yet to be rivaled to this day (oh yeah, the great and powerful Derrick, right? *rolls eyes*)
NUMBER 1: #BB10
This season had it all. Good gameplay, drama, great cast, blindsides… EVERYTHING! If there is ANY season that shows what Big Brother should always be like; it’s this one! The four-some of Dan/Memphis/Keesha/Renny was LEGENDARY AF and of course the explosive female alliance of Libra/April/Keesha. Omg THIS SEASON IS SO FUCKING GOOD. Even the most useless character, Ollie had major entertainment value. The first boot was legendary (All hail Brian), and even Jerry, the old guy, was incredible… INCREDIBLE television. I have yet to see ANY season of ANY show match just how great Big Brother 10 is!
—So those are my rankings! What about yours? Let me know @Empoleon95 on twitter!. Thanks for reading!—
—Before I go any further, The pictures used here ARE ones that I made on my own, but I did borrow some content to make it happen. First of all, the original SURVIVOR(TM) Logo I use on my custom-made Survivor Buffs, and I also used content from http://www.truedorktimes.com/ for my draft board.
I also want to give a somewhat late Happy Birthday to @randyknup on twitter! Follow him! He hosts some kickass drafts! Also follow @SoleSurvivorYap who also dedicates his time for Big Brother, Survivor, and even Hells Kitchen drafts! FOLLOW THEM OR ELSE :)—
Hey everyone, it’s me Gamefreak again “Of you can call me by my new screenname, Empoleon [my favorite Pokemon of course]. Whatever works for you”
I am a VERY competitive person; but you know what i like to do more that competing? HOSTING the competition. You can find me regularly on Twitter and the Big Brother Live Feed chatrooms hosting small Survivor and Big Brother games with many of my buddies on there.
And what does that include? Drafting! FIFTEEN PEOPLE. FIVE TEAMS. ONE SURVIVOR (Well actually 3 since five teams with 3 people each… yeah.)
I gathered 15 of the shittiest people on earth (just kidding they’re really awesome… i mean it!) and did something unprecedented; not only am I hosting a draft, but It is a TEAM-ORIENTED draft.
This is also a special LONGEVITY draft: Challenge wins? don’t matter. Big moves? Don’t matter. All that matters is how deep/far your castaways go in the game; and the points are based directly on that.
The 15 people are split into 5 teams.
They each selected a number 1-15, and I secretly assigned a color to each number. this is how I divided the teams! I will now go over each team and what i think about their chances!
As you see in the picture above, I have each team along with the peepz that they consist of! (Some of them named their teams) I’ll go in order, starting with…
YELLOW TEAM: Ganador
MY NAME FOR IT: The Family Tribe (Son, Father, Daughter, Mother respectively)
Saul (@Perezpective)Kim (@Kim_Is__Bored)
The Yellow team chose Taylor, David, Figgy, and got stuck with Sunday (XD)
Taylor- I’m not sure how I feel about this pick. He is definitely not the one I would’ve personally picked first, and I’m always right. (Not really)… Anyways; Taylor seems like a person who has a big presence… like you always know he’s there. Not a bad thing in life, but in Survivor, that’ll get you a target very quickly.
PREDICTION: Late Pre-Merge
David- David is the little nerdy guy who was born just a little too early (cuz nerds are the shit now, right?) This guy is very scrawny. I fear that he’ll snap with some hurricane-force winds (I’m not foreshadowing at all :P). Could he be a good player? Yes. Do I expect him to make it that far? Not particularly.
PREDICTION: Late Pre-Merge (again)
Figgy- She kinda reminds me of Flick from #SurvivorAU; willing to use the cards she needs to get ahead. I think she was a good draft pick and potentially the Yellow teams strongest candidate for the win.
PREDICTION: Mid-Late Jury
Sunday- I was actually SHOCKED that Sunday was the last one “chosen”. FOR SOME REASON She gives me head-on Lisa Whelchel vibes, but whenever i say that, a certain somebody scolds me for it. She’s either out early or she’s going all the way.
PREDICTION: Out by Episode 4 or she’s a finalist.
OVERALL: Solid, but not great team. There are definitely some weaknesses here. If half of the team makes at least merge they have a shot. A small one, however.
PURPLE TEAM: Purple Kellys
MY NAME FOR THE TEAM: The team that is most likely to be noticed by Senpai(TM)
Malcolm (@Dance_Machine28)— Just noticed typo on draft chart. Will fix after EP1.Rob (RobMRosenberg)
First of all I am amazed that this team was assembled by random draw. Malcolm wanted to be on a team with both Rob and Eddie and Rob wanted Purple. It was pure coincidence.
The Purple Team chose Zeke, Chris, Michelle, and Lucy.
Zeke- I really don’t want to like Zeke, but I do. I feel like he’ll bring an entertaining way of playing the game that we all know and love. I cannot get over that mustache though. The bottom line is I think Zeke has mad potential, and some people are going to overlook him; and that will be their downfall.
PREDICTION: At least Merge
Chris- Personally I never really “got” the hype on Chris, until i found out he’s a lawyer. THERE IS THIS AMAZING BITCH NAMED PHOEBE IN #SURVIVORAU WHO IS A LAWYER AND SHE IS FUCKING THINGS UP (in a good way), so I guess I’m rooting for him?
PREDICTION: Could go anywhere
Michelle- When I first saw Michelle I thought she looked like a brunette version of Ashley Iocco (From Big Brother 14), and after watching her vid, I think i’m right. She’s all about god being so awesome (Personally not my cup of tea, but whatever floats your boat!) and ironically she also believes in DRAGONS! Oh, the DRAGONZ? The AWESOME Ponderosa band formed during Survivor Heroes Vs Villains? No, not those. Actual dragons; like the ones that all of us nerds would neuter ourselves just to have one as a pet. ANYWAYS: game wise, meh. I don’t think she’ll be any type of power player? But potential to go far? high.
PREDICTION: Late Game
Lucy- First of all, she’s a bodybuilder. WOW. Second of all, she’s bossy. UGH. Third of all, I don’t think she’ll get along with the other Gen-Xers.. OUCH.
PREDICTION: Early Boot
OVERALL: 3 out of the 4 of their picks are great. Very, very strong team in my opinion. If Eddie didn’t hold his team hostage to pick Lucy instead of Sunday, i think their team would be exceptional.
GREEN TEAM: Ranvanbria
What I name this team: The Nerd Team
This team said they had GRAPHS AND STATISTICS to pick their people, and tbh I think their “statistics” are flawed. Lets take a look.
The Green Team chose Mari, Adam, Hannah, and Jessica
Mari- I lot of people are on the Mari train; but I think it’s too good to be true. It’s gonna be just like Anna and Liz in Survivor Kaoh Rong where they’re gonna be everyones winner pick and then get plucked off Pre-Merge. Sorry, but it’s what i think.
Adam- I have a soft-spot for Adam. He’s been wanting to get on this show for pretty much his entire life. He even has a twitter account from YEARS ago strictly to campaign to get on Survivor. I WANT him to do well. I really do. Will he?… Maybe. I think he has the tools.
PREDICTION: Makes Jury
Hannah- Hannah is like Aubry after snorting a few shrooms. She’s quirky; almost too quirky. Probst thinks that it will “Charm” people, but I say it may do the exact opposite. What if she becomes a Cochran 1.0?
PREDICTION: Wont win.
Jessica- Meh. I literally have no analysis on this girl. Sorry.
PREDICTION: First Boot. (I’m not kidding)
OVERALL: This team looks good on paper, but if you REALLY get into the CHANCES. and SCENARIOS (Cue Jozea GIF), then I’m not sure if this team can pull it off.
BLUE TEAM: Blue Collars
What I name this team: Grab-four-random-people-and-put-them-on-an-island team
Greg (@AnimorphLover3)Haiku (@HaikuFishbach)
First off, Miles was invisible during draft picks so I can’t really blame him. Honest opinion; I think this is the weakest team… AND How DARE THEY name themselves after one of my most hated tribes in the history of Survivor, the Blue Collar Tribe from Worlds Apart (I hated that season) UGH Now they really just make me want to root against them XD
The team chose: Will, Bret, Rachel, Paul
Will- Will is ONLY 18. 1, 2, 3 years younger than me! WTF!. His voice is as deep as a contrabass saxaphone and his hero in life is “Ronald Reagan”; instant turn off. Go away. Not really tho. Will he do well? Hard to tell. I just rhymed, bitches.
PREDICTION: no idea.
Bret- Bret is really the only choice that Blue made that I can get behind. He’s a walking Mike Holloway clone (Which could be good or Meg-dating catastrophic). It’s hard to find any reason why he would be an early boot unless he got swap-fucked, which is possible, but not probable.
Rachel- Rachel is a fish out of water. gouftjhmjnoif
PREDICTION: Early Boot
Paul- Paul is a fish out of water. gouftjhmjnoif
PREDICTION: Early Boot
OVERALL: Not good. I can barely predict where they are going to end up, but based on my predictions for other castaways, not very far. If half of Blue’s team makes merge I will post “I WAS WRONG” on twitter and put it on my profile for a week.
RED TEAM:… Red Team?
What I name this team: The Team to Beat.
Kevin (@Nivekluap1)’Chele (@TVGal87)
Chris (@CTHASARRIVED)— also Eddie’s boyfriend
This team instantly entertained me. First off all, Kevin was MIA during the draft pick so it was only ‘Chele and Chris. ‘Chele was like I WANT KEN and then Chris was like ZEKE OR MICHAELA. ZEKE. YEAH ZEKE (even though he was already picked)
This minor miscommunication pleased me and everyone else in the chatroom. The small arguement had more excitement than any point of time during #BB18.
The Red Team picked: Michaela, Ken, Jay, and Cece
Michaela- This pick is solid. She reminds me of a more-go-getting Tasha kinda. I think Michaela is going to do very well, noting that she has a mixed GenX and Millennial mindset. I’ll be rooting for her.
PREDICTION: Late Game
Ken- I can’t tell if Ken is boring or not. In my personal draft with @randyknup he was my first pick because i wanted to pick boring people who would slide undetected until merge. No i’m not accusing him of being boring, I’m just saying that is what it seems like. Prove me wrong.
PREDICTION: Merge Boot
Jay- Jay seems like a less annoying Joe Anglim. I’m not one to judge solely on looks but his face looks like he could be the main character of any movie XD. If he has challenge prowess AND a good strategic game, he’ll be one to watch come the merge which he’ll inevitably make.
PREDICTION: Merge merge merge and merge.
CeCe- I hope CeCe isn’t the stereotypical 4th black woman boot (I hate stereotyping, but it’s true), and it seems very likely that she may fit into that category. If not, then yay.
PREDICTION: Fourth boot.
OVERALL: This team is amazeballs. All 4 of them have a good (or not so good, in CeCe’s case) shot of not only making merge, but doing well strategically and challenge-wise. If there was one team that was set up for success, it is the Red Team.
SO If i had to rank the teams…
1st Place; Red
2nd Place; Purple
3rd Place; Green
4th Place; Yellow
5th Place: Blue
So point system: First boot, gets one point. Second boot, gets two. This keeps going until 4th place, who gets 17 points. 3rd place jumps up to 20 points. 2nd place jumps up to 22 points, and winner gets 25 points. The team with the highest point total at the end of the season wins.
What do they win?
Bragging rights; DUH.
IF YOU WANT TO BE IN A FUTURE TEAM-ORIENTED LONGEVITY DRAFT LIKE THIS FOR #BBOTT, LET ME KNOW BY TWEETING OR DM-ING ME @Empoleon95 on Twitter!
Thanks for reading, and may the best team win! #SurvivorMillennialsVsGenX
Here, I did a quick analysis on the Final 3. I think it’s pretty clear who should and should not win with this. #BB18
GOING THROUGH THE FINAL 3:
COMPETITIVE GAME: C-: I mean, she did stuff, and quite a few things… but she spent a lot of time just hanging out with Corey. I appreciate that laying low is a strategy, but was she really laying low? Or just… laying…
STRATEGIC GAME: B-: Nicole has game; no denying that like her or not. She’s not the best player ever, but it’s safe to say she’s probably one of if not the most solid player this season. She integrated herself well throughout the game, and made moves when she had to.
SOCIAL GAME: C+: Once again going back to laying in bed for half of the season; The bond she made with Corey should’ve been spread throughout the entire house. If she did that, she’d be guaranteed a win. There IS something to be said about her being in the majority for most of the season tho, hence i’m giving her a C+ instead of just a C
Used a meat sheild effectively
Least messy strategic game of the Final 3
Managed to always be positioned well in the game.
Good at competitions.
Laid in bed half of the season
Got caught up in Corey
Pre-Game Deal with James
SHOULD SHE WIN: Yes, there is a case to be made that she deserves to win.
COMPETITIVE GAME: A-: Your boy has been the underdog this entire competition. From week 1 on, he was a target for many people in the house; and he managed to get himself out of that. How? BY DOING THE WORK. There is not a single week in which he has done nothing (Even being a pawn is work people!) And i feel that should be rewarded.
STRATEGIC GAME: C+: Paul has potential to be a great strategic player, but the problem is he never really grabbed at an opportunity to take complete control of the game (Arguably until right now). He’s a very smart dude, and put in the correct position, could potentially steamroll. That didn’t happen though.
SOCIAL GAME: C: This is for sure a strange grade for this; He has so many pros in the category, yet so many cons. He knows how to talk. he knows how to get his point across and manipulate. Problem is; he oversells his point, and he’s very loud. It turns some people off to him. I think he did well under his circumstances though.
Was underdog since Day 1. He fought his ENTIRE way.
Did very well adapting his game. (Dropping Vic Week 2)
Great strategic thinker and speaker. Got his agenda across when he needed to.
Good at competitions.
Calls women cunts
Loud and Annoying
Was never really a driving force in the game
SHOULD HE WIN: Yes. I think out of the Final 3, Paul deserves to win the most.
COMPETITIVE GAME: D-: To me it feels like he didn’t care. He was to wrapped up in Natalie the entire season that we didn’t see the James that we all (or most of us) loved in #BB17, hence the low grade.
STRATEGIC GAME: D: He always did what he was told to do. He had and amazing (and undeserved) amount of strategic leverage throughout the season, so some would argue that “he made big moves”; No; He made the moves for other people, not himself.
SOCIAL GAME: B+: The only thing I can give James props on, is his social game. There was not one person “Except Victor at one point” who disliked James. Many people wanted to work with him, and that is the kind of social game that you would want to have in the BB house.
Decent Social game
Shit strategic game
Pre-game deal with Nicole
Flips always “handed” to him; never really did work
Got caught up in Natalie
Didn’t play to win, but for AFP
Generally sucks at competitions.
SHOULD HE WIN: Absolutely not, and whoever thinks he should is sorely mistaken.
BOTTOM LINE: James should NOT win. AT ALL. It SHOULD come down to Paul and Nicole. Personally, I think Paul should be the winner. Nicole has played a great textbook game, but something about giving her the win doesn’t feel right to me, especially when it seems like she didn’t really put forth the effort until Week 10. Paul was in the hotseat the entire competition, and survived. Not all by luck, but by his postiive game qualities listed earlier.
Paul > Nicole > James.
See you all for #BBOTT!
I have been… busy over the past few weeks so I haven’t been able to really keep up on this useless blog. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my relatives… and recovering from spending time with my relatives (It’s very energy consuming), and now i’m here :P.
One thing you should know about me is that i’m not the most motivated person. I have always had a problem with keeping myself “up to a task” so to speak. Even since a kid in elementary school. It’s so easy for everyone to just “get shit done” and set their mind to something… and for some strange reason, that is nearly impossible for me. As a result, I’ve been struggling my entire life to even want to live any life at all. Luckily, I found my friends through Big Brother Live feeds chat, and they showed me the ways ot Twitter, and now; I love Twitter, and I love the people I interact with. For the first time in my entire life, I don’t hate people.
…But there are still some that get on my nerves, of course. Naturally i’m a person who expects the worst out of people. (I have trust issues because of a variety of things that happened to me in the past).
Anyways, staying on track of the “not motivated” thing; Here is my current state in life. I am 21 years old; I don’t have a real job, I don’t have any college degree, I just live with my Mother and my Grandpa. My Grandpa has a really bad case of Parkinsons disease and my mother and I do our best to take care of him… but it really drains us. Me, I’m just a naturally lazy person, so it’s hard for me to even get up and do something. It sounds pathetic, but it’s true. In contrast to that, my mom has a variety of health issues that prevent her from doing things without maybe hurting herself or just completely losing her shit.
When she “flips out”; guess who the target is? Me. I get told that she could “kick me out at any time”, and then everything wrong that is happening is my fault. I do as much work with this stuff as she does and yet I’m the one who’s lazy and entitled and she does “everything”.
I mean, I understand. She has been through a rollercoaster of fucked up things with my father and my sister (And myself, which i will get to in another post), and she’s in her late 50s, she’s overweight, she’s half blind… I SHOULD be doing more, but it’s just hard for me to see things through her perspective. That on top of my inability to motivate myself, makes it so I can only push myself to do so much work, and I feel so incredibly guilty about it.
In the same breath though, i’m not going to let her walk all over me. Whenever she attacks me, I defend myself. I’ve spent too many years with people walking all over me so I just can’t take it.
It’s a very awkward relationship between eachother. We know that we are all we have, yet we cannot stand eachother. It’s a love-hate relationship, with discord at best. I’m just afraid i’m going to do something that will result in the death of my Mother because i “stress her out” too much by just being myself.
It’s rough. It really is. She was literally yelling at me as I was typing this entire post. As personal as it get though, we eventually forgive eachother and likely fight the next day XD. It’s weird, and it’s draining. I wish things could be better.
FIND ME ON TWITTER: @Empoleon95
I am under the (probably false) impression that some people like seeing me ramble on about certain shows and… other stuff, so I decided to create my very own useless little blog!
Here, I will be talking about numerous shows such as…
Survivor (US and AU)
Big Brother (US, CAN, USDigital)
And also some other things i am interested such as Music, Pokemon, and… other stuffffffff.
I feel like I am a logical person “most of the time”, but yet i have a hard time verbalizing my ideas and thoughts; so I just verbalize them via keyboard!
To everyone reading this, thank you for being at least somewhat interested in what I think, and thank you for being just generally awesome.